Change of Mind: Heart of Darkness

2 weeks ago, the thought of reading Heart of Darkness made me want to yank my hair out. I had no idea what the book was about, where it took place, or even the setting. Yet, I judged the book based off of what I had heard from previous Academy students. Quotes such as "get ready for the hardest book of your life," and "expect to not understand anything," were just a few of the responses I received that made me fear opening to the first page. I was afraid that I'd be the only one in class to not understand the novel. Like we've talked about before in English, I've sometimes felt like I've reached my "plateau," and thus I was afraid that Heart of Darkness would be the ultimate test of my level of intelligence. However, after successfully completing this novel, I've had a complete change in mindset. While the saying goes, "don't judge a book based on its cover," I believe it should really be, "don't judge a book based on others."

Why? Well, I'll own up to my inner nerd and say that I loved Heart of Darkness. Surely, the material was challenging and at times treacherous, but that's why I enjoyed it. The power of language within this text was incredible, and I'm disappointed that I underestimated my ability to read this type of writing beforehand. Not only did Conrad provide a captivating story, but each and every one of his sentences could be picked apart, investigated, and found meaningful. It takes a skilled writer to do so, as I've learned throughout this year in English. Previously, I didn't know why it was necessary to read Heart of Darkness, since it seemed as though nobody understood it. Now, I realize that the depth and complexity of this novel, while at times confusing, provided an important "so what" level. However, I've realized that Conrad's novel wasn't impossible to read. Instead, I found it enjoyable and fascinating. 2 weeks later, I question the previous Academy students, because to me I didn't find the reading to be unbearable. This demonstrates that everything is relative, and I shouldn't base my judgements off of others.

Overall, I've realized that I need to keep a more open mind when it comes to literature. Heart of Darkness is now currently my favorite book that we've read in class so far, and I'm so thankful for the literary experience it provided me with. Conrad taught me importance of structure, language, and meaning. All of these elements will be very helpful for my future English classes and years of writing to come.

Blogging Around

The first blog I commented on was Lindsey's. She wrote about her learning over the semester, as well as the many internal struggles she's faced this year. Lindsey's post reached the crux of my struggles with perfectionism, as well as demonstrated the power of realization in terms of weaknesses. Here's my response to Lindsey:

Wow Lindsey, thank you so much for sharing this insight with the class. This post truly exemplifies integrity and growth, and I'm so happy that I had the opportunity to read it. While I can only imagine the struggles that you've gone through this semester, I'm so proud that you've recognized where your area for improvements lie. Just the mere fact that you wrote this post demonstrates a step towards a better future. I agree with you that your worst enemy is yourself, and I can completely relate to this. When it all boils down, I'm a perfectionist. This can be one of the hardest battles to overcome because its only driving force is my mentality. However, after reading your post, I've realized that the only way to overcome my battles is by working on it. It doesn't matter how long it takes, as you've illustrated. So, kudos Lindsey for everything that you've accomplished this semester, as well as everything that you've recognized you still need to work on.

The second blog that I commented on was Maggie's. Her post mentioned the idea of "finding your voice." Not only did Maggie make me think about my realization this past semester on asking for help, but she also allowed me to recognize that I still have some improvements to make when it comes to certain things like class participation. Here's my response to Maggie:

Maggie,
I loved reading this post because I can relate to the struggles of finding your voice. Like you, asking for help was extremely difficult at the beginning of first semester because I thought that I could handle everything. I've realized though that the best learners do ask for help.

In addition, your blog made me realize that I still have some improvements to make when it comes to finding my voice, especially like participating in class more often. When you mentioned vulnerability, I connected this to my class participation because I think that vulnerability is the reason why I'm afraid to participate sometimes. Your post made me think about the implications of vulnerability, and I am working this semester on improving my participation. So, thanks Maggie for sharing!

I enjoyed reading about my classmates, especially because I could relate to their insight. This blogging prompt helped me learn a lot more about the people in Academy, beyond the walls of school.